I dont wanna pretend..
Didnt go to school today. By the way, you know what's the real reason why he said he missed me when he didnt? He just wanted me to feel better. He didnt want me to feel like i did those things for him for nothing. And he said, but he didnt know i would look into it that much. Well.. why the hell give me false hopes, boy! Why, why, why, why, WHY!! Brought me so high up, making the fall even more painful. Anyway, can i NOT pretend that i'm fine. Cos' i'm NOT! i'm NOT AT ALL! I dont wanna lie to myself. I thought i could do it, put up this strong front and in time to come, i'll forget him and thats it. But.. argh!! Just fuck the fact that i CANT get over him, alright. And that i still love him, alright! i dont know how the hell he could get over me so fast luh. But i just cant do it like how he did it! i hate myself for that, okay. I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT! He can cope with himself. He can live life greatly without me. He can get over me so fast. He can forget about everything. HE HAS ALREADY MOVED ON!! So why the hell am i still stuck in here? Damn it! Just WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!!! The world's being cruel to me! Sometimes i'd think this route is the best i can ever have, i've got all the FREEDOM in the world, single and free. I dont have to restrain myself from doing this, doing that. But honestly, i dont need the freedom. I've given up freedom for this love. It dont mean anything anymore. And the reason i let go, because he wants me to, because he felt the he could cope alone. I cant be holding on to NOTHING right? You know how hard it is to try to act that he's not there? It's so hard NOT to look at him when it is all that i wanna do........
Another month or less to O'levels. Sherlyn!! you gotta start getting all those books out and STUDY!! STOP crying over spilt milk. Get the fact that ELIJAH'S NOT GONNA COME BACK ANYMORE. He has moved on... he WONT turn back and pick you up!! Get a life, girl !
Another month or less to O'levels. Sherlyn!! you gotta start getting all those books out and STUDY!! STOP crying over spilt milk. Get the fact that ELIJAH'S NOT GONNA COME BACK ANYMORE. He has moved on... he WONT turn back and pick you up!! Get a life, girl !
With love, on Tuesday, October 03, 2006
xxx This scene is DEAD xxx
xxx This scene is DEAD xxx
